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I was surprised that their hair was so coarse, that their musty smell was actually calming, and that I did not wet my pants. One was digging, one was pacing, one was howling, one was eating, one was grooming itself, one was sleeping, one was hiding, one was hanging out in its den, one was digging on top of its den and one was intently and seemingly menacingly staring at us. When you’re truly in control, you don’t need to tap on people’s shoulders constantly to remind them how in control you are.Cate Salansky, our wolf expert and guide, asked me, “Which one do you think is the alpha? Cate explained to me what every role in the pack entails.I know quite a bit about dogs, and some of the rescued wolves at the sanctuary had been bred with dogs.I tried to figure out a way to manipulate the conversation to a topic I know something about.My dad’s death made me realise that in terms of work, a lot of the heavy load I was taking on came with a subconscious intent to get his attention, so when he died, my need to be productive also died a little, too.

This episode is sponsored by Blue Apron, Ziprecruiter, and Post Mates.The death of a parent tends to make you wonder if you were destined to follow in his footsteps or repeat his mistakes, but the wolves showed me that maybe the apple can fall far from the tree.In a culture that makes me feel that I have to compete, audition, peacock, post and posture constantly, observing the effortless functionality of the wolf pack pushed “pause” on those impulses.The alpha wolf showed me that when I’m feeling as if I need to work more, make more, fight more or tweet more, maybe the best thing I can do for myself and everyone around me is to go take a nap.Unlike most stars, Whitney said she also hopes her career will slow down a bit by then as 'that means I’ve learned to say no and am comfortable enough to not need professional accomplishments to feel good about myself'.

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